Did the Afghanistan War Happen?

Belated Happy Veteran's Day

I was there, Gandalf. I was there in 2010 during the great Afghanistan Surge, and I am unsure what failed.   

This is somewhat crass for a late Veteran’s Day post but not so cynical as to be cruel to US Service members who operated in Afghanistan for 20 years.    

A few months ago, Academic Agent discussed Baudrillard’s article “The Gulf War Did Not Take Place” with Praise of Folly and Mike of Pol.   These three are intellectual heavyweights, and I’m not here to imitate their depth of knowledge on the subject. But their discussion provided me some ideas to consider and juxtapose with think my own experiences overseas and the wider Global War on Terror.

Image 1. Gulf War Hyper-reality: Pauly Shore won a Bronze Star!

Let's apply concepts from that article to Afghanistan.  

Simulacra and Hyperreality 

Has anyone ever been to the Kandahar Airfield (KAF) or are currently at the KAF?  Regarding the latter, any readers out there from the Taliban?  Or are you guys too busy ghostriding the whip with our Abrams Tanks?     

KAF was my first arrival into the country before I made it to the Zhari District.  It defined hyperreality.   

KAF was equipped with a Hockey Rink, gift shops, and the best TGIF in Central Asia.  It also was home to a Disco - because how else could you get continental Europeans to deploy?  

You can check out the German military uniform here circa 2010; probably got gayer since then. 

The KAF boardwalk tracks with Baudrillard’s argument in Simulacra and Simulation of Disneyland as hyperreality. 

When we arrived for the surge, did the white wizard order us “prepare for battle, defend the wall, and return to your posts?”  

Image 2. Our great Pentagon “strategists.”

No. Instead, guys, we need to get “acclimatized.”  Have some Green Beans coffee before we push farther into the country.   Remember home? This was “home”, even though it could not be farther from it.   

Then again, Zap Brannigan was able to command his forces from the Chili’s in Time Square so what do I know?   

Media Representation 

As a DC intern in 2005, one of my roommates was interning at CNN, and I was interning at a silly right-wing organization (sorry, no spoilers!).  In October 2005, the CNN staff was, cravenly and cruelly, preparing for the 2,000^th US Service member to die.  Everyone loves a good round number.  Hell, I can remember sitting in Mass and rearranging the numbered scripture verses to see if I could get them divisible by 5 or 10.    

But this seems, what's the word? Weird.  But more so, it seems disconnected. The real agenda at the time was ensuring the Democrats recaptured the House and Senate in 2006.  The conflict was a shitshow and meant to be used as a political football.   The Thomas Ricks’ book Fiasco was the Zeitgeist, but merely to shape public perception.   

Journalists used death numbers and stories of the conflict more broadly and chose not to reflect the reality of that silly conflict to those who were not there.   

It probably does not help either that unlike previous wars, there has been no definitive war movie depicting either Iraq or Afghanistan, save the documentary Restrepo.  

War as a Simulation 

Working in DOD, you get to have some for-real for-real conversations.   A co-worker who worked for the Joint Special Operations Command (JSOC) for half a decade provided insight on the greatest loss of American life in Afghanistan, the Chinook shootdown in 2011.    

The story goes that the Ranger Regiment was tasked with taking down another High Value Individual.  They were pinned down during the fight and needed help.  SEALs were on standby as a Quick Reaction Force (QRF).  The SEALs responded as a QRF.   

My buddy tells it differently.  He was a field grade officer in JSOC's Joint Operations Center at the time. The Rangers were fine.  For some context, these guys are second only to those dudes from those Chuck Norris documentaries.  

Image 3. Based on a hyper-real story 

Rangers are THE standard bearer for all infantry units.  Although they were in enemy contact (as expected), they were still executing their mission.   

Then, someone on the JOC floor got excited, and then the SEALS got excited, and then they demanded to go “save their buddies.”  

They commandeered a CH-47, piloted by green National Guard pilots who did not receive the specialized training to handle the difficult elements of this mission set (e.g., rugged elevation, time of day, mission type).  Think of it this way: a Taxi Driver and a Stock Car Racer are professional drivers.  They both pay their mortgage due to their operation of a vehicle.  Which one do you want in the big race?  

The results were tragic.  Charging in like Gallahad, 33 dudes lost their lives, and it should not have happened.  

But, why?  I don’t think this has ever been real to JSOC types.  Perhaps this is because of the qualitative and quantitative advantage the US possessed throughout the war.  Or maybe it’s because of guys like these guys:

Image 4. “I am no man?” - Confused Eowyn 

Image 5. “You don’t know the power of the Dork Side!” 

The Shane Gillis cope joke on his girlfriend’s Navy SEAL ex-boyfriend sheds some insight on it:  

“Navy SEALS… they’re kind of pussies if you really think about it.  You know what I mean like using night vision sneaking up on guys. That’s a coward's way to fight.  Dude, you know who is actually brave? Al Qaeda.  That takes courage and bravery in pajamas throwing rocks at tanks.  Just you and your boys going out in flip flops.  You're all going to get fucked up.  No training.  No military training.  They had one set of monkey bars.” 

This was a shooting gallery for our guys.   For the other side, this was survival.  This could not have been more real for the “booger eaters.”  There was no end till the end.  There was no 179 and a wake up.  No deployment order.  Only success or death.   

Final Thoughts 

Soon after arriving into the Zhari District, my buddies and I could tell there was no hope for that place, or at least the hope the security state was seeking.  The predictable fall of Kabul was evident in 2010, when one Afghan soldier, who I was on tower guard with, was shooting up heroin.  He had the same arm as Chris Elliott in Scary Movie 2, btw. 

Image 6. US Regime change policy in a nutshell: “Take my strong hand!” 

Another Afghan soldier offered to trade me his AK-47 for my boots.   The fall of Kabul angered me as it represented such fruitless effort and waste.  Regardless of whatever Trump does in this presidency, his critical legacy was turning the volume up on the Right for seeing the real in war and not the hyperreality fed to us for decades.