Viagra for the Soul: Get Your Heart On
The Very Best of Underground Designs
We have a lot of fun around here! If you’re anything like us, you strive to be useful while also being as self-aggrandizing as possible. To that end, we’ve curated our creamiest posts right here: a baker’s dozen of our finest work. There’s never before been a better time to peruse, like, restack, subscribe, pay, supplicate, grovel, and grow! Scroll through the categories and share with a friend or an enemy.
Sex!
Erotica: You're "Doing It" Wrong
Today, we’re celebrating the 14th anniversary of Chip Czadarsky’s Petals Fall Twice. In honor of this momentous occasion, I am modernizing and improving upon the form laid out in Chip’s misunderstood opus.
Audience-Building!
Post Like One of the Great Ones
Ever stare in the mirror, just flexing your rock hard abs and asking yourself why the peons aren’t just lining up to snack on ‘em? Some writers don’t even have a 6-pack, while your body of work is rippled with gristle. Your wordsmithery is the equivalent of Brad Pitt’s physique in
Health!
9 Simple Ways to Cheat Death
Boy we’re unhealthy. I mean really unhealthy. The most damning stat: the CDC called Baskin Robbins yesterday and they reported that they’re down to only five flavors.
Parenting!
Make Your Children Hard to Kill
Today’s topic: “Is the modern practice of Gentle Parenting Insidious or Not?" Starting at Gentle Parenting is a bit like starting in media res. Let's first turn back to see the evolution of Western child-rearing practice over the last few hundred years and examine the number of changes over the past few centuries. Here are some highlights:
Why You Need to Beat Your Children
You’re probably wondering why I’ve asked you all here today. The agenda is simple: it’s your kids. Your kids are out of control. Maybe it's the pornographic happy meal toys. Maybe it's the iPad babysitter. Maybe it’s because when your children look at their ugly little mugs in the mirror, they see your weak face staring back at them.
Politics!
Democracy: The Real Batman Villain
A few decades makes all the difference. I loved every second of the movie Legend as a kid. I watched it as a teenager and enjoyed the nostalgia of it. As an adult, I watched it again. It's dogshit.
Full Moon over MAGA
Am I going crazy, or can I honestly not remember who was on the Democratic Ticket back in 2024? It was so many moons ago and my memory is getting foggy. To be honest, I haven’t been feeling myself since that strange blonde woman in the Hugo Boss uniform bit me at a Trump Rally. She said her name was Karoline Leavitt, but I think she goes by “Takeit” the…
Your Life is a Die Hard
Charlie Kirk died. He died hard. Many people on the Right took this pretty hard. Some even advocated that Leftists should also die hard. However, you cannot kill what is already dead. This is the asymmetry inherent in American politics: Cthulhu might have been distracted for the last 9 months, but he’s been in
Culture!
Slop
Things are getting real sloppy around here. Slop. Pig slop in your flip flops. Big ploppy pop-up slops. Slopsicles. Sloptical illusions. Aeslop’s Fables. Schlock options and slop floptions. Sloppy joes - slop - sloppy joes.
Ur Intelligence v. Modern Intelligence or The Naivete of IQ
“This is a man who has killed communists with his own hands.”
Hard Right? Right Hard!
Good morning Men of the West. Today, we’re celebrating the Based Books for Male Readers Sale. Big shout out to Hans G. Schantz and L. Jagi Lamplighter Wright for their hard work in helping dozens of my fellow Randy Savages sell some books. But who is the male reader?
Burn these Modernist Myths
I obsess a little bit on comics, but for good reason. Comics are critical means for establishing contemporary American Myth that instills the virtue and example stable and great societies require. If you want a left-wing justification, read Grant Morrison’s
Your Job Title is a Lie
One popular way to outline projects these days is the RASCI matrix. RASCI stands for the following:
Get on The Raft
Image 1. My physical copy doesn’t have the warning, but the image for Kindle on Amazon does.
Sports!
Super Bowl Review
I know everyone outside of Philly and Chiefs hatedom is disappointed about the big game. If you want to know what a vision for a better script looks like, here’s my analysis of last year’s game.