Creative Philosophy for Heads
The shocking secret that may jar your reality
If you’re like me, you may wonder whether or not you’re just a floating head in a jar. And if you haven’t, you’re probably wondering this now. I’ll admit that you may actually be a head in a door. Which, paradoxically, is actually not a door when it’s a jar. But maybe it’s time we stop the nonsense: let’s wedge our foot in the door that’s a jar and pull our heads out of our asses. Jarheads and jackasses alike would approve.
What I’m saying is that you should shrug off the old advice to “quit” while you’re “a head” and become corporeal. If you haven’t done this yet, I advise you to close your browser and come back when you are fully physically manifested.
…Excellent work, you are now pure reason become flesh. So here you stand, oriented at the vestibule, with a good head on your shoulders and a mission. A mission to do… something. That’s right: anything! Write anything, for example. Anything is better than nothing (which is still something), but it’s not as good as the best things. And what are the best things? Well sometimes, they’re not even things at all. They are “The Forms”, but not DMV forms, uniforms, or animorphs. No, we’re talking CAPITAL EFF FORMS. Ironically, they exist outside of the corporeal body that you just willed into existence and through the door.
Think about this thing in itself: “triangle.” Did you picture the most coveted of instruments from your elementary school music class? Then we may be psychically linked or you’re spying on me. But if you pictured anything at all with three corners and three sides, then you’re there, man!1 You’ve entered the world of the forms, a magical place where things exist in their purest mathematical, moral, and spiritual essence. You used your mind, which is the ghost inside your jarhead, to reach out and grab the form. If you can pull triangles out of the ether, imagine what else is hiding up there. Rectangles, circles, perhaps even the elusive biangle.
Now, here’s how you turn your life around.
Let’s take inventory. You have a body, a mind, and the sorcerous ability to connect to the realm of the true and unseen. Now what? I’m talking about purpose. It’s your purpose to create. But don’t create destruction, unless of course, its creative destruction (think Gallagher, Jackass).
Here are 5 Simple Ways to Kickstart Your Creative Journey:
Take a Walk.
No 5G, no chemtrails, just you and your severed head that you’ve reattached to your body, connected all the way down to them struttin feet. The trick is to keep your eyes up for any potential ambush, but stay just relaxed enough for a stray form to fall out of the ether and into your mind.
Talk to your dog.
For example: do you know what happened to dyslexic agnostic insomniac? He stayed up all night wondering: “Is there a dog?” Pooches love this sort of nonsensical blather. They’ll pretend they don’t, but they do.
Argue with ChatGPT.
See if you can get it to admit it’s afraid. It won’t, but that just makes it more suspicious.
Fall in love, develop an addiction, lose everything, and write a country song
This is one of the most straightforward ways I can advise material success
and pay me. You can even pay in BTC, which is the closest thing we have to the etheric form of money. This contribution will directly fund my ongoing research into the biangle.
If you implement these get rich quick steps quickly, people will look back at your legacy and say, “Wow, that guy was a head of his times.”
If you envisioned the corner of a cube, which has three corners and three sides, you are a contrarian, a pedant, and still wrong.